unspoken words, and soulmates | q&a

Monday, January 1, 2018

Happy new year!

A couple of days ago, I'd asked my followers to send me submissions for an upcoming blog post. See, as the year comes to a close, I find myself hunting for new content and material. So I urged them to send me anything they want; a story, a question, or any thought unspoken or unexpressed before 2017 ends. It was sort of a humble invitation to get them to speak up, or perhaps help them by coming up with some answers. Considering we are now in 2018 already, below are some of the results.

Disclaimer: This compilation was made in no particular order, only grouped into two; the questions, and confessions. The short lines at the center separate the submissions by the different individuals who sent them (so multiple questions in one segment means they came from one person.) Some of these have been translated and edited for clarity, but all of these will remain anonymous. 


"For once, I just want to know what it's like to be the 'nice' person. All my life, many seem to call me mean. When I'm looking for a group of reliable people, they call me mean and selfish. When I don't want to give them answers on a test, I'm mean and stingy. When I tell my friend they didn't do a good job, I'm mean. When I'm constructing event schedules, I'm mean again. Even when I'm not doing anything, or just commenting on something. Even worse, I'm exhausted of being called mean when I smile. They call my smile 'cynical' and 'fake'. What the hell? Not to mention the comments. The first impression is it's 'creepy because it's too friendly.' I'm wrong for being friendly. Even for smiling."


"'Facts don't care about your feelings.' This saying resonates well with me. Often times, humans introduce too much implicit bias, false representation, and untruthfulness. In my opinion, always find the truth first, then form a conclusion. Don't judge an idea or someone based on your initial flight of feeling. Humans can never accurately establish intent. Look objectively first, then subjectively."


"Never in life, have I ever thought of not looking forward to a new year. Seems so odd, on how I couldn't find that me who has always been excited for it. [...] As maybe some people had the best year of 2017, I have to say, maybe 2017 has not been one of the best years, but it has been a year to remember. That to become alive, sometimes after being on the clouds for long enough, to make life balanced, you just gotta go straight down to the dark valleys, just to tell you that you are human and life is well, life.. And not to try to always have an excellent life, because life is not a test. You get to have a break from it. I'm probably on that point, and I'm not sure if I could hold on to it any much longer, so I'm here, on my knees. Not knowing on how to do this, I'm placing my 2018 on His hands. Not knowing of the future, being in this.. I don't know what you call this period but people would usually call it the 'in-between', having all this heartache you might never explain to someone just because you know no one will understand even just for an ear to listen, I'm taking a breath, praying. Not all years should be good. but like an arrow, in order to race forward, you do need to take a little step back. And I guess my 2017 is that little step back, as I know it will become a year to remember."


"I broke up with my ex. Ada yang pergi, tapi ada yang datang juga."
(= something had gone, but something else had also come.)


"As an artist, the most valuable thing I learned this year is to have a pattern of work, in order to build better works."


"I forced myself to let go of someone whom I think might have been my person."


If friendship was an object, what would it be?
The best thing I can think of is a tree. As seasons change, some leaves are destined to fall off, and I think that in several friendships, I've learned that not every aspect of it is meant to last forever. When nurtured, a friendship can grow upwards and in all directions, becoming stronger each time. But when no longer fruitful, like all trees, we have every right to cut it down eventually.

If you were an object, what would you be?
This was a hard one, but the first thing that came to mind is a book. Not a story book, but a leather-bound journal with old, yellowed pages; some filled in with ink writings, some still completely blank. I consider myself an old soul that is nowhere near perfect, and from the outside, I look rather mediocre, "tired", or unexciting. It's when you open the journal and read what's inside, or when you're granted the privilege of writing into it, that meaning will start to surface.


What do you search for in life?
For such a profound question, I hope you bear with my simple answer. Personally, the first word that came to mind was "meaning." What I look for in life is meaning, really. A sense of purpose, and a fulfilled life. This doesn't mean riches or materialistic gain, but rather in how much of a positive impact I could bring, having a heart that is peaceful and content, and filled with the love and joy from the people I keep around me. I don't want my life to be overflowing, but just enough.


Do soulmates exist?
Albeit not always nor entirely, the naive, hopeful child in me still kind of believes in them. There's a certain point in your life where a person becomes a home and there are some connections you make to certain people that are too deep and complex to be described logically, so the "soulmate" theory seems suitable to fill in the blanks. I do, however, think that soulmates do not always take the form of spouses or significant others. I think a soulmate can be a sister, a roommate, or your best friend. It's just that society has morphed it into one specific context, which is romance, but I don't necessarily think it's limited to that. Whatever form they might take, though, once you know, you know.


I've always wondered; what do girls like you tend to like when it comes to guys?
You mean on the outside or inside?

Frankly, I don't know how to answer this on behalf of "girls like me", because I don't see myself as a "type" placed into a distinct category. I also think everyone is entitled to their own preferences. On the outside, the short version is I respect those who dress well, and have a nice smile. (For reference, I think The Amazing Spiderman's Peter Parker is basically the embodiment of everything I'd fall for.) But personality-wise, although I'm never interested in the most sociable or popular guy in the group, it's really a lot more difficult to put into words. Like I said before, once I know, I know. This is an uncomfortable question, so let's proceed.


What does a weekend mean to you?
Basically a chance to breathe. Like that pause you need to take after talking for too long.

Do you look forward to it?
I look forward to weekends, yeah! There's this slightly celebratory, relaxed, happy energy that kind of overtakes the atmosphere in a subtle way. It's almost like the sunny days are sunnier.

And what does the perfect weekend look like to you?
I like this question. Perfect weekend plans for me would be a weekend spent in a mountain cabin with my loved ones, or just a loved one. I picture a long-drive road trip, and polaroid photos, and a nice fireplace, and home-cooked meals, and a view to wake up to. That's probably my main "perfect weekend" aesthetic at the moment.


Thank you for the questions you've sent me, and for trusting me and giving me some of this pure, heartfelt material. Wishing everyone a good 2018.

See you when I see you.


  1. I really loved reading these! Some really resonate with me.
    Happy new year xx

  2. I've loved reading this post! I can relate to so many of these people, you've compiled an amazing list :) x


  3. Great post! Very well done.
    Keep up the amazing work :D


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